Backfired
by Ugly.Paper.Swan
Summary: For years Izaya has toyed with Humanity and a certain monster, but what happens when one of his games backfired? Contains mentions of violence and implied rape. You have been warned.
1. The Start

**WARNING! : Mentions of violence and implied rape. You have been warned.**

**A/N : Here's another story that I've written but put on drrrkink. Currently I'm rewriting it because I was a bit not satisfied with the last few chapters I've written for it. I'm just putting this here for easy editing. For this story, I'm changing my writing style a bit, going for more depth and stuff. Anyways, enjoy~**

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"What are you so happy about?"

Yagiri Namie tossed the paperwork in her hand on her table and sat down on the chair, swivelling it to face her current employer. The woman raised an eyebrow when all she got was a devilish smirk from him.

Izaya traced his weapon of choice in the air, creating invisible arcs and delicate swirls in his ecstasy. He was totally lost in his own world, completely disregarding Namie who was still waiting for an answer. After a few more minutes passed, he posed a question to his only assistant.

"Tell me, Namie…It's so obvious that Shizu-chan will win."

"That wasn't a question."

Izaya gave Namie an amused look. The merry glint in his eyes was clear and devoid of innocent intentions. In response, he merely shrugged and walked towards the other's workspace. Leaning his elbows on the tabletop, he glanced up to Namie.

"Details. Mere details, my dear Namie. So?"

The woman clad in the green turtleneck looked away from Izaya's stare and sighed.

"Well of course he would. I'm just surprised you still manage to find anyone who would willingly cross path with Shizuo."

A quiet chuckle reverberated in the spacious office located in Shnjuku. Izaya slid his elbows of the table and sat on it instead. He toyed with a paperweight placed on top an old picture depicting Namie and his younger brother during their childhood and hummed a tune familiar only to him.

"It's just as I've said before, Namie. Humans are unpredictable. Given a situation, some would do this and some would do that. Their spectrums of behaviour are just so intriguing, so amusing that I just..."

Izaya pushed the paperweight of the table and watched it fall to the floor with a heavy thump.

"…Can't help but love them."

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"Aaah? Another one?!" growled a blonde man in a bartender uniform. He turned around to face one final attacker who was armed with a metal baseball bat and his face half-covered with a generic orange bandanna.

All around him, he was surrounded by a mass of writhing bodies that were contorted in pain from his powerful punches. Some were bleeding and gasping short breaths in agony; others with fractured bones or passed out from contusions.

For a while, none of the two moved an inch. The silence that permeated between them was only broken with the occasional groans from the downed assaulters. In a blind flash of panic and rage, the last of the assailants rushed forward and brought down the heavy bat. It hit Heiwajima Shizuo square on the left shoulder blade, the sound of a sickening crunch followed.

For a man who just got his collar bone smashed, he didn't even so much as bat an eye as he also sent the man flying into the opposite wall. Unfazed, he lit up a cigarette calmly and walked out if the area littered with sprawled bodies. Sliding out his cell phone, he placed a call to the hospital to send a few ambulances there

After finishing the call, he took another long drag of the stick. A frustrated groan left Shizuo's lips as he ran his fingers through his hair tiredly. He truly didn't want to hurt these people. He hated violence with a passion, but when you're against a crowd trying to snuff you out, there isn't much option.

It's do or die.

"…Fucking flea."

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**A/N : If you absolutely can't wait until I rewrite the whole thing, then...I've written up until chapter 13 on the drrkink part X page 35. Though, I'd really hope you wouldn't since there was a few parts I wanted to change a bit. But who am I to stop you? Haha... If there are any comments, feel free to review. Constructive reviews are welcomed.  
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	2. Beginning of the Aftermath

**A/N : Not much change I made for this and the next chapter. So I'll post these two for now. Enjoy~**

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Half a year has passed since the last time Orihara Izaya had left it to other people to harm Shizuo, both physically and mentally. The man in question grinned in satisfaction when he managed to locate his most loathed human in the world from atop of the highest building he could find in the area. The bustling sea of Ikebukuro did little to conceal the location of the towering blonde ex-bartender. He put down his binoculars beside him and resumed watching Humanity through his dangled legs as he sat at the edge of the building's roof.

The low sounds of rumbling traffic and Humanity's eventful activities rose upwards to his location, though granted, a little hard to hear considering his current location. Izaya cocked his head upwards to the sky and closed his eyes, trying to imagine how each noise was made.

He imagined that the high pitched squeals came from an old and worn bike hastily screeching to a halt to avoid some kind of obstacle; the loud clanging coming from a nearby kitchen of the diner next to this building as a busboy cleans the dirty dishes; and the thrumming sounds of the crowds as they hurried to their destinations.

He let the sounds wash over him. The erratic yet monotonous noise melding together in the recesses of his mind, filling his head with an unusual satisfaction. He hummed the familiar tune once again absentmindedly.

"Ah~ Humanity, Humanity…Such lovely specimens of this perfect world. How I love you all so much."

Izaya then decided that he had had enough of human watching for now. He got up and dusted his much-loved parka. He then went down the stairs leading to the roof, wanting to very much stalk a certain Shizuo. Maybe he can plot another form of harassment while he was at it.

Izaya was skulking around in an empty alleyway in search of Shizuo. His shoes expertly evaded the many dirty puddles so as to not sully his footwear with the filth. As he turned a corner, he didn't expect to see a crutched man walking on the other side with another man supporting his shoulders; both seemed disinterested at Izaya's presence as they hobbled off in the opposite direction.

Slightly curious, Izaya gave them both a brief glance before looking ahead again to concentrate on his hunt, wondering for a moment whether he had seen them before or not. Unbeknownst to him, the pair of man had suspiciously pulled out a cell phone and dialled a number afterwards. The one who was dialling had his hands trembling excitedly at the mere thought of the revenge planned.

The sudden smack of chloroform-soaked cloth smothering his face and the stinging shot of a stun gun from behind when he rounded another corner rendered Izaya unconscious. Black started swimming in from his peripheral vision; his body limp from sedation.

The last hazy memory the notorious informant had was of him falling to the grimy street, surrounded by a group of men who were laughing in victory and giving each other high fives before waking up in an what he assumed an abandoned warehouse, tied up to a chair, gagged and blindfolded.

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**A/N : And...on to chapter 3~**


	3. And So It Starts

**A/N : Izaya is soooooo hard to write. Nuff said D:**

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The warehouse was empty, or so Izaya assumed at first in his hazy state of mind. He struggled to clear his head, to gain even a little bit more control of his predicament. It was troublesome that he was bound, gagged and blindfolded; the position was giving him quite the nasty crick in the neck.

Nevertheless, he wasn't completely averse to the situation. In fact, a small and distant part of him was absolutely in ecstasy that he himself could experience some of Humanity's attention, when most of the time people just stay clear of him.

He strained his ears hard, but alas, it seems as if his captors have even denied him of yet another one of his senses. The earplugs in his ears prevented him from clearly hearing the conversations around him, only hearing muffled sounds. Even so, a continuous thumping of a blunt object keeps hitting the floor. The low vibrations travelled up Izaya's legs, prompting him to grin inwardly despite knowing that he was in immediate danger.

The conflicting emotions and thoughts swirled in the information broker's mind, blurring the exclusive distinctions between polar opposites. Confusion and clarity, excitement and anxiety, disgust and curiosity, hopeful and despair. The magnitude of feelings was so strong that it sent the man reeling, both in anticipation and humiliation.

Despite what the rumours spread, Izaya wasn't a cold, heartless bastard. After all, to observe and to appreciate an object or concept unquestionably requires a heart, to that Izaya was certain. Loving Humanity was no exception.

When at last his captors deemed it necessary to remove the earplugs and gag but leaving the blindfold, Izaya wasted no time in engaging with a little word war with them.

"Ah! Let me guess. Judging that some of you were injured and that I vaguely remember some faces before I was unconscious, I guess it's not wrong for me to deduce that you guys were the one I hired to beat up Shizu-chan?~"

The lilt of his voice at the end of the sentence riled up some people surrounding him. Someone spoke to the informant's right.

"You bastard. You tricked us! You know full well that that blonde is a monster!"

"Hmm? What are you saying? I'm just someone who wants revenge on those debt collectors~ There was no way I could've heard of their reputation. I live in Shinjuku, after all." Izaya smirked when another person kicked his chair from behind, causing it to topple forward. In the process, Izaya's knees banged on the hard concrete, the pain shooting up his spine. Despite that, Izaya merely laughed harder.

"Fuck you. Because of you, some of us have serious injuries like you wouldn't believe it. And the medical bills were totally ridiculous!" retorted one.

Another unknown member of the spectators spoke up also. "Come to think of it, why did you have so much money to offer when you were supposed to be in debt in the first place? It's obvious that we were tricked!"

"Hmm? If it's so obvious, then why did you accept my offer? I gave a lot of money for a reason, you know? Tell me, did any of you owe the hospital a single yen?" Izaya challenged. In spite of his bravado, Izaya started to slowly panic. He realised that if he didn't get out soon, he won't be around long enough to achieve his current goal of reaching Valhalla. But his pride wouldn't let him voice out his nervousness. By word, his pride won't let him. "Well, regardless, it's not my fault that you were tricked. You've only yourselves to blame!~ So why not let me go now, since there's still more than enough leftover money."

The previous dull thuds of a blunt object stopped. Izaya then heard a shuffling of footsteps to his right. Before he could even think, an object slammed hard on his head. The impact sent stars in his vision, or lack of it.

One of the members had slammed his crutch on Izaya's head and proceeded to grind it so harshly that Izaya's face was crushed against the concrete. Other than a small surprised groan, the man couldn't get another sound out of the information dealer. Unsatisfied with the results, he stopped and instead, kicked Izaya to the side with his good foot.

A small stream of blood trickled from Izaya's nose from the blow; the ropes that tied his hands seemed to tighten in his mind, causing Izaya too wince. The newly formed bruise on his cheek and the pounding wound on his head didn't help the situation one bit. And yet, the raven merely let out a low, morbid chuckle.

As if he was ready to face death but still had overflowing confidence that he will still gain the upper hand. That he will still win in the end.

"My, my…what a grand welcome you gave me." Izaya tried to position his head in the general area where he thought his captors were. He grinned. "Is there more?"

The only response that was given was the replacement of the gag.

And the repeated dull sound of a blunt object hitting the concrete starts once again, sending resounding heavy thuds in Izaya's erratically beating heart.

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**A/N : And off I go to edit chapter 4! Until then!**


	4. Transition to Fear

**A/N : Oh, this scene is the death of me. I tried to keep this scene as minimally graphic as possible...I wondered if I should edit it more? I...just can't write the rape scene in detail. It's bad enough Izaya got the beating of his life, I just can't. ;_;**

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_It hurts…_

Blow by blow was given to his person, Izaya curling into a defensive position as much as physically possible given his current tied-up state. Though he did not scream, inevitable grunts of pain passed muffled through his gagged mouth. Izaya wanted so much to clench his teeth, anything, just to make the pain lessen if even a bit. But the gag keeps getting in the way.

A kick to his face, another on his sides. Izaya endured, tears starting to form and spill in reaction to pain. His breaths become laboured and his tied hands starting to strain against the ropes once again, the pain biting into his flesh. With his vision and movements restricted, he panicked. With his words inaccessible to him, he became frustrated. Izaya didn't know what to do. He desperately wanted to get away, anywhere, from this place but there was just nothing he could do. Nothing but endure.

For the first time in his life, Orihara Izaya felt utterly helpless.

_It hurts…_

The beatings went on forever in Izaya's mind. The hard punches, swift kicks and jabs seemed endless. That is, until one of them found his switchblade. Then, the cutting starts.

At first, they cut the restraints bounding his hands and legs together to the chair. Before Izaya could even try to think of escaping, two people (Izaya assumed) grabbed hold of him and slammed him to the ground; where the others also help hold him in position.

The person holding his knife went to work. A superficial slash to the thighs caused Izaya to hiss. A few other slashes followed as well as some punches and kicks. The dreaded crutch landed heavily on his left shoulder, dislocating it and once again on his right arm, fracturing it. Two punches to his face made sure that his nose was broken, lips were busted and bleeding. One more step on his foot assured another dislocation to add to the list.

This time, Izaya could no longer hold his screaming in. His captors, delighted at his anguish, disposed of the gag; Izaya's screams no longer muffled.

Suddenly, without warning, one spoke up.

"Hey, if he gets to fuck us up, why don't we fuck him back? It's divine retribution!"

Izaya heard the sentence that was left hanging in the air in terror.

_No!...No, no, no, no, no, no, no…This isn't happening! Fuck!_

With his sense of sight taken away from him, his ears became sharper. Every scrape his switchblade made on the ground, every scuffle, every thump of that goddamn crutch, every cheer they made in answer to his screaming pushed Izaya to his limits.

So much that he shuts down his mind to protect him from growing insane. He felt numb when his ears picked up the sound of opening zippers. He liked to think that they really weren't taking turn slamming inside him time and time again until he bled, that it was just his imagination being weird again. His mind absolutely refused to acknowledge the pain caused by someone's failed attempts to try setting his back on fire, yet his mouth still produced hoarse gasps.

Izaya passed out soon after. His body was transferred to the back of a van and dumped somewhere nearby in a secluded alley, where the rain poured down and washed away the blood from his bruised, swollen face.

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**A/N : Argh, just argh! I'm editing that 5th chapter now. See ya!**


	5. End of Aftermath

**A/N : Finished rewriting chapter 5. This chapter's a bit longer. Enjoy!**

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When they were done collecting money from a debtor, Tom and Shizuo walked out of the dingy building and out into the streets. The rain was pouring heavily outside; the splashes that resulted from the pouring rain didn't spare their clothes and shoes. Unfortunately for them, they didn't bring any umbrella.

In this kind of job, it can save your life if you aren't lugging around unnecessary things.

The wet, metallic smell of the rain invaded Shizuo's senses. Unlike most people, Shizuo liked the rain. The smell always managed to calm him and he always felt refreshed after a long rainstorm, as if it comes specifically to wash away the rage scarring his soul.

As the both of them ran for it in the rain, looking for a proper shelter, a loud screeching of tires and a clanging of something heavy hitting the trash cans in the empty alley attracted their attention. Afterwards, just as abruptly as it came, the screeching tires sounded again only to fade away after gaining some distance. Tom looked in Shizuo's direction and asked what they should do, because honestly, his curiosity was piqued. Shizuo merely shrugged his shoulders, not really caring since it seems as if his senior had decided for him, judging by the way he ran towards the noise.

"Haha, it's probably unlikely, but maybe somebody dumped a corpse or something. Like in that new movie your little brother is starring in now." Tom joked as Shizuo followed in his wake.

When they got to the scene, a familiar body met his eyes. It was the flea's, to be exact.

"What the hell? I was...there really was a body?!" cried Tom. They hastily neared Izaya and Shizuo promptly crouched down next to him. Tom quickly dialled for the ambulance and helped Shizuo to place Izaya somewhere relatively sheltered from the rain, not that the bartender needed any help.

Shizuo did a swift once-over of Izaya. When he noticed the crooked nose, the bruises, the cuts, the weird angle his shoulder and arms were in, the amount of blood…the blonde had wondered what had happened. A wet stepping sound was heard from behind him. Shizuo turned around. It was Tom.

Tom scratched his head, at a loss of what to do. "The ambulance was on its way. Man, this is bad. Think we need to get him out of those wet clothes? Urgh, but we shouldn't move him more than we have right?"

Shizuo just shrugged. Without thinking much, he took hold of Izaya's shirt and ripped it as well as his trousers, chucking them to the side in a crumpled heap. Tom merely nodded at the back, muttering "Well, that works too, I guess?"

As Shizuo placed his relatively drier bartender vest to cover Izaya, a groan from Izaya prompted him to turn his way. Even in pain, he somehow managed to smirk at Shizuo, causing the man's anger to rise.

"Ah~ Shizu-chan…how…nice to see…a familiar fa-"

"FLEA? Hey, damn you! What the heck is going on? Wake up, ya damn idiot!"

Shizuo shook Izaya's shoulders but Izaya fainted again after struggling with that one sentence. Shizuo was confused, his emotions conflicting and different thoughts keep racing through his mind.

As much as he wanted to get rid of the flea right on the spot, his morals would not let him. He had always fantasised of killing Izaya, to crush his head under one of the stop signs he wields or smack him face down across the rough tarred road, but only when the flea's in top form. Or else, it wouldn't mean much to Shizuo. He at least deserved that much, right? Right? Goodness, was he really trying to justify why it would be better to help the flea instead of just leaving him be?

Shizuo wondered what was taking the ambulance so long.

Suddenly he remembered something. He grabbed hold of his own cell phone.

_Of course! Shinra would know what to do!_

* * *

When the underground doctor picked up the phone, the last thing he'd expected was Shizuo screaming down the phone.

"Calm down, Shizuo! What's wrong?"

"It's the flea! Man…this is bad…"

"Eh? What's wrong with Izaya? And when the heck do you even care about him?" teased Shinra from the other end, as he picked his controller from the floor and sat next to Celty. He groaned when Celty somehow managed to kick his character out of the screen, thus winning that round of video game.

Shizuo's voice streamed through the phone. As Shinra listened more carefully, he paled.

"Izaya was beaten up? Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"YES! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU! Tell me what to do! The flea…he's not answering! And the ambulance isn't here yet!"

Shinra gulped once. His shaking hands were noticed by Celty and she sat nearer to hold Shinra's hands steady. Even though he wasn't particularly fond of Izaya, a somewhat friend is still a somewhat friend.

The uneasy aura emanating from Shinra caused Celty's wisp of shadows to shift nervously about her.

"Uhh…okay," Shinra said, gathering back his wits. He breathed in once again and said calmly, "Can you check his breathing? Is he breathing okay or is he gasping right now?"

"He's breathing, but it's kinda gurgled? I think it's because of his broken nose or something. There's lots of blood."

"Loosen his clothes. Stuff his nose with something and lay him to the side. Feet higher than head."

"Hey, shouldn't we do something about his bleeding or something? There's really-"

"Shizuo, calm down!" Shinra pinched the bridge of his nose. Shizuo's panic attack was starting to affect him. He started again. "We need to check according to priority. Is his pulse okay?"

"Kinda weak," answered Shizuo meekly. He tried his best to do as Shinra instructed. He cursed the ambulance lateness again.

"That's okay. Not good, but at least it's there. Now we check his circulation. What else is wrong?"

"Huh?"

"I mean what other injuries? You said he was bleeding a lot?"

"His arms are kind of crooked, but Tom's already making a splint. Er…um…lots of bruises…lots of cuts…shoulder weird position…"

It was then that Shinra heard a hiss on the other end. Not being able to see the scene is frustrating the doctor.

"What? What?"

"His back is burnt real bad…"

"Burnt? How deep?"

"I…can see muscles, I think? I don't know..there's some clothes stuck on the most part."

"Leave it. Don't try to take it off. You've mentioned he's wet. Make sure to warm him as much as you can."

"Okay…AH! The ambulance is here!"

"Good, I'm heading over to the hospital right away…bye."

Shinra stood up immediately. Celty who was next to him, silently stood up as well. When Shinra has finished gathering up some materials and made two quick phone calls, he nodded to Celty. They both head out in the direction of the hospital.

"We need to get him out real quick. His job has gained him many enemies, they might make a move if they ever hear about this," said Shinra quietly. Celty, who felt Shinra's hold on her tighten, left the driving to her trusted horse. She let go of the handlebars and shifted her hands to cover Shinra's in a show of support.

_It's alright…He's a jerk but he's going to be okay. He's going to be okay._

Shinra understood the unspoken words and merely gripped Celty's hands tighter in response. The whinnying roar of the motorbike echoed in his now calming mind as they zoomed faster on the highway and nearer to their destination.

Maybe, just maybe…Shinra thought of Izaya as more than somewhat friends. His still trembling hands were proof of that.

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**A/N : Well that's done, on to the next chapter!**


	6. Waking Up

**A/N : This chapter was a bit short, to say. Sorry about that. Sometimes I just don't like to write too much in a chapter in this story, because I suck with angst and was afraid I'd rambled instead of getting straight to the point. Anyways, enjoy! :D Or not...this chapter is somewhat gloomy, haha...**

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**3 days later…**

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Izaya woke up to the sound of soft occasional beeping beside him. A small rough groan went past his lips. When he tried to crack open his eyes, he was blinded by the morning light streaming through his opened window. Automatically, he shielded his eyes from the offending stimulus with a grunt.

"Ah, so you're finally awake, Izaya."

Izaya turned to his right with much difficulty, his neck still sore. Even through his blurry vision, he can vaguely see that Shinra was sitting next to the bed, holding a file. The doctor put down the file and asked, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Hrnn…" was the only response the informant gave. He tried opening his right hand, asking for water which Shinra gladly obliged. While Izaya was trying his hardest to wet his parched throat, Shinra had moved around the other side and took the readings on the beeping machine's monitor.

"I'm going to leave you for a while. Try to get your thoughts straight as much as possible until I get back, okay?"

However, Izaya didn't respond. His head hurts, his body hurts, hell, everything hurts. He feels sore all over and his stomach was churning, refusing to contain the glass of water he had just downed. Despite the protests of his body, the raven sat up straight before lurching forward and puked back up the water, coughing and hacking.

Shinra, alarmed, dropped the file he was holding and tried to soothe Izaya by rubbing his back slowly. But as soon as he touched Izaya's back, Izaya had pushed him away harshly. Surprised by the sudden push, Shinra had lost his balance and slammed to the opposite wall with a cry. A crashing sound was heard.

Izaya continued to cough, though he still watched Shinra warily through the crack of his tearing eyes. He heaved from the effort and looked at the slight stinging sensation on his left hand, where he finally noticed that he had accidentally ripped off the IV drip in his struggle to push Shinra away.

"Ouch," said Izaya with a hoarse voice. It felt scratchy and he wondered what he had done to lose his voice. It was at that very moment that everything came back to him.

_The lack of sight, the nauseating smell of blood, the taste of his salty tears, the cheers of those around him to the sound of him begging to stop, the touches…_

_…Oh God, the painful beatings, and those repulsive touches that was everywhere…_

A door banging open caused Izaya to turn his head abruptly in its direction; his vision zeroed in on the Dullahan who was alerted by the crashing sound.

With three people in the room, Izaya suddenly felt claustrophobic. His breathing quickened, his hands felt clammy, his face paled and his whole body shook. The machine monitoring his vitals at the bedside beeped loudly in warning as his heart rate shoots through the roof. He wanted out. He didn't care if he had to go through 2 people, he wanted out of the shrinking room.

He looked back and forth between Shinra and Celty, gauging his chances of getting away.

Shinra, on the other hand, recognize the panic and tried his best to calm Izaya down. He didn't get any closer, though, in case it would set off Izaya more.

"Izaya…Izaya, calm down. It's okay. We won't hurt you."

The doctor inched slowly forward. Izaya focused on him immediately; the fear in his eyes made Shinra cringe and stopped dead in his tracks. Izaya pointed an accusing finger at him.

"You…stay where you are! Don't come any closer!"

"Okay, I won't. I promise. But Izaya, I need to administer the anaesthetic again…you're starting to feel pain again."

"NO! STAY WHERE YOU ARE, DAMN IT! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" Izaya was practically hyperventilating. He turned back to Celty. "YOU TOO! STAY AWAY!"

A shuffling noise on his other side prompted Izaya to turn back to Shinra, who had gotten closer while Izaya's attention was turned away.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY!"

"Izaya! I need to give you the anaesthetic again. Please, calm down!" pleaded Shinra desperately. "Your wounds are going to open again if you move around like that!"

"NO WAY! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DRUG ME AREN'T YOU? STAY AWAY!"

Shinra backed off and nodded to Celty. "Now, Celty!"

Before Izaya could turn around again, Izaya's field of vision was shrouded with Celty's shadows. He struggled as they wrapped themselves around his arms and legs; he tried his best to get away from the shadow's hold, screaming in panic. The shadows than consumed his whole being in a ball.

Izaya couldn't stand it anymore. The darkness, the restraints…they all reminded him of that eventful night. He screamed.

He passed out soon after, when he could no longer contain his panic. His screaming dwindled down to slow breaths as his consciousness faded in fear.

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**A/N : Izaya, I'm sorryyyy!**


	7. Reappearance

**A/N : ****This chapter might be slow for some, so sorry in advance if there's not much happening. I need to make it clear how Izaya is in denial with the whole situation and still tried to act his usual self (I hope it got across! D:). **

**Before that though, since there's not my reviewers, I think I could get away with putting my replies here. Here goes...**

**nira -** Thank you for finding this fic interesting, I hope it stays that way and not bore you. ** AwakingMusic - **Glad you love it. I hope I don't have too many writer blocks with this one. **Luna Takamarie - **Eh, well half a year already passed since they got beaten up, so I guess they are well enough for revenge. **Lil' P**** 101 - **I thought cliffhangers are good? Haha... **Rai Rai Blue - **I will continue some explanations on Celty's and Shinra's reactions as well as Izaya's as you will see in this chapter and soon to come, so enjoy that. And err, thanks? I still think I'm not doing angst justice. **Chelsea619 - **I'm glad you like this! Well, I suppose most people would go coocoo if that happened. **Guest - **Thanks for the compliment, though I'm not sure if I had taken mystery and action to a whole new level. I'm still lacking somewhere. **mangoface - **Yes, please do! I would love the support _ **NezYu - **I feel bad too...but you have to do what you have to do D:

******In any case, enjoy!**

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**4 days later…**

Shinra came out of the guest room-turned-ward and sighed wearily, clutching yet another record of Izaya's progress in his arms. The door behind him clicked softly when it closed. Celty who was waiting just outside the room, went over to him. Shinra gave a small, tired smile for his beloved.

"What's the matter, Celty? You're fidgeting again…"

If she had her head now, she would've shaken it to deny it or voiced out her disagreement. Unfortunately, she could do neither. Instead, in response, the Dullahan typed on her PDA apprehensively only to erase it and rewrite the sentence again, before showing it to him.

**[Is it really okay like this?]**

Shinra only shook his head and said in an exhausted tone, "I wish it doesn't have to come to this. But with the way things are now, it would be hard for Izaya to recover. In order for him to recuperate properly, I have to sedate him from time to time and handcuff him to the bed. We don't want _that_ to happen again."

It was an awful experience for the both of them. From the time Izaya regained consciousness until now, he had tried to escape countless of time and had violent tendencies every time any one of them would come close to check up on him. Almost always, the wounds would open again. Sometimes, at night, when the informant would sleep, Shinra noticed that he would have horrible nightmares. The day the informant woke up, he practically begged the doctor to leave the lights on, which Shinra now did every night.

**[I wonder what might have happened for him to be like this.]**

Shinra walked slowly towards the living room, throwing the files in his hands on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch and messaged his temples in small repeating circles.

"I don't know, Celty. But whatever it is, I think it's best if we don't say anything to him regarding the matter. He either freaks out or shuts down completely. And that's…going to be difficult…"

Celty didn't type anything in response. She merely sat next to Shinra and massaged his sagging shoulders; hoping things would turn for the better.

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**A month later…**

"SHINRA~ I WANT MORE JUICE!~"

"Shut up, Izaya! If you drink anymore, you'd definitely want to pee more after this. I don't want to have to come to the room every time just to take you to the toilet!" yelled Shinra from the dining table as he waved about his fork in exasperation.

"Ah~ But then, just take these handcuffs off! Then we don't have to be stupid over this anymore," Izaya retorted back, clanging the handcuffs to the bed to get his point across. He then looked at the cuffs in contempt, glaring at the sturdy cool metal on his wrist. He didn't like it; it reminded him of that particular incident. The fact that it was only his left hand restrained and that it still gave him a degree of movement, albeit a restricted one, was the only thing that kept his panic at bay. Almost.

Shinra poked his head inside, with a toast in his mouth. He then entered and put a glass of orange juice on the table for Izaya. Taking the toast out of his mouth, he replied.

"You know I can't do that."

Izaya pouted and whine. "But I'm fine now! I promise I won't run away again!~"

But Shinra didn't say anything as a response, merely smiled at the raven. He changed the topic. "Anyway, about your condition."

Izaya quietened down and looked at his friend. "Yes?"

"Well, you were in too much panic before for us to discuss it properly. But I think it's time we do. It's important."

"Okay. Keep going."

"…You're pretty much okay with all this talk then?" asked Shinra in surprise. He had expected more reluctance on Izaya's part.

"Well, I did say that I was fine, Shinra. So, about this handcu-"

Shinra cut him off. "You're pretty messed up when you arrived here. Lacerations everywhere, fractures, dislocated joints, burns and bruises…"

He was going to ask how Izaya got those injuries before he stopped himself. He restructured his sentence back; he didn't want Izaya to shut down on him again, this talk is important. "Well, for the most cuts, they were pretty superficial. Give it another week or so and they'll heal with no scars. But I can't really say the same for the burns on your back though."

"They'll leave a scar, yes?" questioned Izaya. He grimaced. _Great, they're staying…more things to remind me_, thought Izaya. He shifted a little on the bed, making a squeaking noise.

"Unfortunately. A very big one too," said Shinra. He looked at Izaya for any negative reactions but didn't found any. Izaya was really calm for once, so he continued. "I've already mended your broken nose…I'd say no one would be able to tell if they were once broken. I'm pretty good, don't you think?"

Izaya snickered. "Hey, no boasting about yourself now."

Shinra laughed back, leaning against the door. "Guilty as charged. I'll take that cast off of your arm in about 5 months time. It's a pretty clean break even if it's at two parts, so it won't take long. Bruises are already going away, as you can see, there's hardly any left…Now comes your abdomen. Your intestines were damaged but not so much that it's going to impair you a lot. But until I say so, you need to be on a liquid diet for a while. Then, when it's okay, I'll let you go home!"

Izaya raised both his arms in mock celebration, cheering in monotone. But the action caused the orange juice in front of him to spill, wetting the bed and the bandages on his hands.

"Ah! Let me get that!" said Shinra. The doctor rushed forwards in panic and without thinking, he touched Izaya's left hand to change the wet bandage immediately.

Izaya suddenly pulled his hand away in reflex, and hid it under the covers. Shinra, with his hand hovering over where Izaya's hand should be, became silent and put both his hands in his lab coat's pockets. He backed away a few steps and made sure Izaya saw his hands in his pockets; to show the informant that he meant no harm and will not touch him again. That he's not a threat.

The cheery atmosphere before became a dreaded awkwardness. The handcuffs clink again as Izaya tried to tug at them, hoping for some miracle that it would suddenly be loose. Though he knew it would be impossible, he still tugged at it; each attempt was more desperate than the last before he gave up.

"Izaya? Are you alright?" asked Shinra concernedly from the other side of the room. He waited patiently for Izaya to reply. It wasn't until minutes later, did the lab coat-clad man got a response.

"Does anyone know I'm here?" asked Izaya quietly, dodging the question as his body trembled.

"No," said Shinra simply. He watched his somewhat friend tremble without uttering a single word. If he could, he would have hugged Izaya, hold him still and whisper consoling words to the informant; but both he and Celty had learned the hard way that it would only make things worse.

…Hence, the handcuff…

"Then…Namie doesn't know too. Damn it. How about the Awakusu? Do they know?"

Shinra shook his head. "When I was trying to get you out of the hospital, I did call a few of my contacts…but I assure you that those contacts did not know you or your whereabouts…"

"I…see…" muttered Izaya.

The awkward silence continued until a sudden question intruded from the hall outside.

"Shinra! Are you here?"

When they both looked at the door, Izaya's previously troubled face miraculously changed back to a grin.

"Why, if it isn't Shizu-chan!" said Izaya with a forced sneer.

* * *

**A/N : ****And finally, Shizuo makes an appearance again! Yay!**  



	8. In Denial

**A/N : Here's another chapter for you people. It's a bit on the short side, so sorry about that. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

He cussed at his bleeding arm; his mouth curled into a frown as he watched his blood slowly seep into his sleeves, painting it crimson in a large unsightly blotch. The damp feeling of clothes stuck to his skin annoyed him to no end. At the sight of another destroyed bartender uniform, Shizuo grimaced. How would he explain this to Kasuka?

As he walked down the hallway, the door to his destination loomed nearer. He had not wanted to come here and he had very much protested the notion, but Tom had insisted that he get this arm bandaged properly as soon as possible and angering his Senpai is a big no-no. He would still like to have a job, thank you very much. That…and since he didn't want to be bombarded with questions from suspicious doctors…here he was once again.

He cursed his luck again as he tried to knock on Shinra's apartment door to no avail.

A vein throbbed in his temple, his anger spiking before he willed himself to calm down and tried the doorknob. Surprisingly, it was unlocked, so Shizuo invited himself in. He scrunched his eyebrows together when he thought he smelled an annoyingly familiar smell. He then heard something got knocked over in the next room and some muffled conversation.

Thinking that it was Shinra, he called out.

"Shinra! Are you here?"

What he heard next was a surprise, though the surprise quickly turned to irritation. No wonder there was that annoying smell! _What is he doing here?_, thought Shizuo.

"Why, if it isn't Shizu-chan!"

"Flea…" he acknowledged. The word fell out of his mouth, leaving the blonde with an awful aftertaste. He eyed the informant and noticed the cast on his right arm. He did a second-take at Izaya again, glancing at every visible bandage on his body. "Tch. So you finally got what's coming to you."

"What?~ What's with that cold reply? Here I am, going out of my way to greet you civilly, and you ruined my efforts!" whined Izaya. Shizuo ignored him as best as he could, but that didn't stop the informant for shoving every single 'mistake' Shizuo had ever done to the raven since they've met at Raira down his ears.

Rummaging through his pockets, Shizuo took out a packet of cigarette and lit up a stick; to which he snuffed out after noticing Shinra's frown, thinking that he shouldn't smoke around the sick (though he could care less about Izaya). But the blonde seems to have misinterpreted it because even after he put away the cigarette, Shinra's frown didn't disappear.

"Shizuo…You're bleeding…" muttered Shinra darkly. The underground doctor's eyes appeared fixed to the drops of blood on the floor that leads from the front door to this particular room, never leaving.

"Oh. Umm, yeah…" came Shizuo's noncommittal answer. Shizuo didn't like the look in Shinra's eyes, so he backed up a bit. Through the years of knowing this whackjob of a doctor, that look never bodes well for him.

"You…" said Shinra. The doctor came closer to Shizuo by a few steps. When he was close enough, Shinra immediately grabbed Shizuo's injured arm and squeezed as hard as he could at the open wound, making Shizuo involuntarily wince in shock. "Do you have any idea how long it took for my Celty honey to clean that floor?! Do you?"

"Um, ow ow ow…no," stuttered Shizuo, surprised. Shinra squeezed some more to deal out more punishment. With every renewed squeeze, Shinra shouted "Two hours!" until he was absolutely sure that the bartender-clad man understood clearly the severity of his actions. By then, Shizuo was already kneeling on the floor and clutching his arm in pain.

"Humph! Honestly, people these days! How could they do such a thing to my hardworking wife's labour of love?!" Shinra cried as he wiped his bloodied hand on Shizuo's vest without so much of a conscious. Shizuo looked at his vest in dismay. Going behind Shizuo, Shinra dragged the man and forced the blonde to sit down on the only seat in the room (which happened to be next to Izaya's bed) and promptly rushed out of the room in search for some bandage.

Needless to say, Shizuo was stunned by his childhood friend's outbursts and sat on the chair motionlessly and in daze until his brain registered the shuffling of the bed sheet and Izaya's annoying laughs.

"So…" started Izaya; his voice full of merriment and his eyes sparkled mischievously.

Shizuo gritted his teeth as he held on to his continuously bleeding arm. "Shut up. You're the last person who I'd want to talk to."

"Aww~ Don't be like that, Shizu-chan. I only want to be happy at your misfortune."

Shizuo clicked his tongue and looked pointedly at Izaya's blanket-covered foot. Izaya didn't see what the other was looking at until Shizuo spoke up. "Sure. I'm so happy too that I want to share to the whole world that Orihara Izaya still wets the bed at the age of 23."

"IT WAS ORANGE JUICE!"

"Suuuuuure, flea. That's very convincing," sneered Shizuo. He looked another way, not wanting to talk to Izaya anymore than necessary. But judging from Izaya's indignant squawk, that's not going to be likely.

* * *

**A/N : I know Izaya's supposed to be depressed and all. Right now, he's just in denial and trying his best to reject what has happened by acting normally. And who else is perfect to bring out his 'normal' if not Shizuo?**


	9. Suspicions

**A/N : Lol, I don't even know why I put the first scene in. Poor Shizuo. Anyways, enjoy~**

* * *

"Thanks, Shinra," said Shizuo through gritted teeth as he stepped out of the apartment. In the background, Izaya was howling with laughter and he wouldn't stop no matter how many times the blonde threatened him.

"Don't mention it." Shinra grinned by the doorstep. He pocketed the camera in his lab coat and turned around, waving a hand in a gesture of goodbye. "Thanks for cleaning up the mess you made. I think that'll cover my treatment fees this time, Shizuo."

Shizuo didn't give an answer. He merely slammed the door hard and walked off angrily. Shinra, who was about to check in on Izaya, peeked back at the front door to check for any damages; there was none.

"Lucky Shizuo~ If there was any damage, I would have to increase my fees…Oh well," muttered Shinra. He entered Izaya's temporary room and stood a good distance from the man who was still currently pounding the bed in amusement. Izaya turning back suicidal was the last thing Shinra wanted to deal with when said man seems to be back to normal. Keyword : _seems_. He waited patiently until Izaya was able to calm back down.

Wiping the tears away from the corners of his eyes, Izaya turned towards Shinra and held out a hand. "Hey, let me see those pictures you took. It'd be good as future ammo."

Snorting, Shinra tossed the camera on the bed, which Izaya took greedily and turned it on.

"How did you even manage to get him to do this?" wondered Izaya out loud with a small laugh. "You have got to teach me, sensei~"

He sifted through the countless photos of Shizuo in the camera, stopping a bit at the most humiliating ones. At the moment, Izaya's favourite was the one where Shizuo was kneeling down and trying to scrub the bloodied floor in a very fluffy tutu and bunny ears.

Shinra held up two fingers proudly. "Two reasons. One, he doesn't have the financial means to pay my fees, and yes, I charge that much for even a small wound. Two, he's actually doing pretty well in that anger management programme you've signed him up for as a prank just over a month ago. You can push a lot of his buttons now and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid! "

Izaya whipped around, the camera dropped on the bed. He couldn't believe his ears. "…He actually went?!"

* * *

Back in his rented apartment, Shizuo sat down on his bed with a heavy sigh. Opening the window next to his bed, he lit up a cigarette and took a few puffs. He poked his head out of the window and settled down as he watched the smoke from his cigarette waft away in the cool wind. Bit by bit, he felt the tension of the day melt away and he found himself thinking of various things. One of which, were thoughts of revenge.

"Damn that Shinra. Just you wait."

The ex-bartender continued to mutter his plans for revenge under his breath, some gory and some downright petty. After saying a few plans out loud, Shizuo's thoughts trailed towards the flea. He quietened down and took another long drag.

_The flea, huh?_, thought Shizuo. The first thing that came to his mind after his surprise in seeing Izaya on the bed in Shinra's apartment was if he was doing okay. Not that he was worried or anything, but that time when Tom and Shizuo found him battered up in the alley, his injuries were anything but light. So Shizuo couldn't help but wonder. He was about to ask that abomination the very question but after Izaya made a hurtful jab about his relationship with Kasuka, Shizuo decided that the flea is just _fine_.

"He should be. He's being his normal asshole self after all. I can't believe I actually decided to help him that time. What came over me?"

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and snubbed out his stick. "Whatever…What's done is done. No two ways about it."

A cigarette butt was thrown out the window. The blonde watched the flickering snub fell down steadily on the pavement below before it was stepped on by a rushing pedestrian. He pulled his head back into his room.

With a grunt, Shizuo rested his head on his pillow but he was still not done thinking about Izaya. The whole time Shizuo was alone in the room with the flea, listening to his teasing remarks, he couldn't help but feel that somehow, something was out of place. Like…for some reason, everything was forced. Was it because Izaya losing his touch?

Shizuo let out a small laugh. Like that was possible. This is Izaya he was talking about after all; he'll always find new ways to annoy him and no matter how much Shizuo denied it, they actually do work on him.

Shizuo shrugged his shoulders and rolled to his side. For the life of him, he just couldn't put his finger on to what exactly caused his uneasiness. Being extra careful not to lie down on his injured arm, Shizuo closed his eyes and took a nap.

Before drifting off, Shizuo remembered thinking one last coherent thought.

_And what's up with that handcuff?_

* * *

**A/N : Izaya's still trying to act normal, though it's kinda hard not to laugh your ass off if you ever saw Shizuo being forced to wear fluffy tutus and Shinra is still weary of Izaya's unstableness. Shizuo, on the other hand is starting to notice Izaya's weird behaviour. :D**

**Well, I'm bored with this arc. Next chapter, I'm moving things to when Shinra actually discharge Izaya from his care. Until next time. **


	10. Discharged

******A/N : Sorry for the wait! Enjoy~**

* * *

**A Few Months Later…**

The past few months in rehabilitation went by in a wink. Throughout the time period, Izaya had not misbehaved in any way (discounting his usual behaviour, of course) and had followed Shinra's instructions to the letter, surprising the underground doctor. He no longer bothered about the handcuffs being on and had even started to not mind sleeping in the dark some nights. Izaya even let him do compulsory physical examinations on him and Shinra didn't even have to sedate the informant to do so. Shinra could only chalk it up to improvement on Izaya's part and was more than just relieved at the progress of Izaya's recovery.

Once he was almost physically fit, Izaya had voiced his desire to be discharged from Shinra's care. Though reluctant, the underground doctor could find no holes in Izaya's argument, and had to let him go.

Albeit, not without a forced slip of paper into Izaya's refusing ball of hand, containing the number of an unnamed acquaintance who Shinra had claimed could help him with his troubles. Shinra was worried about Izaya's stability and wondered if there would be any relapse. Crumpling the paper up and shoving it in his back pocket without sparing it even a single thought, Izaya chuckled again and denied to his very best that he doesn't have a problem other than his healing fractured arm.

"Are you sure of this, Izaya?" asked Shinra as he watched the other man wearily. He had tried so much to persuade Izaya to stay just even a day longer, but all of his words fell onto deaf ears.

"Yes, yes." Izaya merely nodded twice and took a few steps backwards when Shinra tried to get closer again and grip his casted arm. He held his arm closer to his person and nodded again. "As you are aware, I have a lot of work to do. Just sitting around in a small room isn't going to get them finished, you know?"

Shinra pulled back his own arm and sighed in resign. "There's nothing I could do to change your mind, is there?"

"Yup! So I'm off. Thanks, Shinra. I'll make sure to pay your fee soon enough, so don't worry about that~"

Despite Shinra's attempts to get him to stay longer, the raven turned around on his heels and waved goodbye, leaving behind Shinra and Celty as he head back to Shinjuku.

* * *

The overjoyed buzzes of conversation around him had irritated the informant to no end. The laughing children by the playgrounds did little to amuse him and the traffic of humans walking in the opposite direction to his was no better.

Though in his heart he knew the truth, he refused to accept reality. He walked faster towards his now empty office-apartment in Shinjuku; his footsteps fell as heavy dull thuds on the concrete pavement.

Fingering his apartment keys in his left pocket the second he got out of the lift on his floor, Izaya had faintly remembered how angry Namie was when he finally got around calling her 3 months ago. He creased his eyebrows when he recalled the loud screaming and swearing over the phone when Namie demanded his whereabouts and activity. When the raven jokingly accused Namie of being an overly obsessed lover, he only got a rude monotonous dial tone as his answer.

Figures. People just don't know how to take a joke sometimes.

Izaya inserted the key home and opened the door. He stepped inside cautiously. Turning around to close the door back, Izaya asked the figure sitting behind his desk.

"I thought by now, you'd have already left…" He paused as he turned around to face the other. "…Namie."

Namie shuffled a stack of paper and piled them up neatly on the desk. She did not lift her head as she continued with her work.

"Humph. I'm a responsible adult. Since my pay is still coming in despite your _mysterious_ disappearance, I might as well do my job anyway," Namie answered dismissively. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She continued. "It's not like I have much to do, since your usual clients have no more faith in you."

Izaya smiled. How he had honestly missed the scathing banter between them two. Though right now, he was not in the mood and just wanted to be left alone. "Ah, but responsible adults don't go around lusting for their younger siblings. I thought for sure you'd be spending your time stalking your brother."

"Fuck off." It was then, that Namie finally lifted her head and actually saw Izaya's condition. Eyeing the casted arm, she scoffed.

"I admit that the first time was funny. But this is just sad. Don't tell me your disappearance for months was due to Shizuo finally beating you up? And here I thought you were up to no good."

Izaya mockingly bowed low. "Well, I'm sorry for betraying your high expectations of me, Namie-sama. I am just human after all…"

Namie raised her eyebrow at the gesture, but questioned no more. Silence reigned in the space between them; Izaya balancing his weight from one foot to the other while Namie finished jotting some notes and stuck them on Izaya's work desk.

"Namie."

Once the woman in question looked up, the informant continued.

"If you wouldn't mind, I need to get some things done. But I'd prefer if you weren't around to poke your nose unnecessarily into it."

After eyeing her employer for a couple more seconds, Namie sighed and stood up. She collected her things silently and headed to the door once she's done. She hovered her hand above the doorknob before calling out.

"Well then, I expect a paid leave while I'm away. And no demands for me to cook you dinner just because you feel lonely," said Namie. She opened the door and disappeared, the door closing behind her.

After making sure that Namie isn't going to come back for any forgotten item, the smile playing on Izaya's lips slid off, and depression sunk its teeth back into the raven's mind once again. He slid the locks on the main door home, one by one, until all were locked. His fingers trembled at the touch of the cool metal.

Walking back to his desk, he regarded the neat stack of paperwork and the small post-it notes placed neatly on it. Next to those articles, lay his favourite polished binocular; the sunlight gleaming off the lenses in all its glory.

"Ah, she did well in keeping this clean. It's a shame that it's going to waste…" muttered Izaya to himself.

He dumped the binocular into the nearest bin and turned around, facing his once prided window and walked towards it, deliberately slow. The second he reached the large window pane, he looked down with his hands and forehead pressed against the cool glass.

As the disgust and fear built up against him, Izaya stood and observed the people walking below his window, until he could take it no more. Taking one last glance at his one beloved Humanity, he drew the curtains close.

He turned his swivel chair around, sat curled on it before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Tanaka Tom handed Shizuo a cup of hot steaming coffee with a grin which that blonde found to be quite irritating.

"And what are you so happy about?" asked a disgruntled Shizuo as he accepted the offer. He rummaged his pockets to pay his senior for the cup of coffee. Tom refused with a polite push of his hand.

"The coffee's on me," answered Tom as he leaned against the wall and watched Shizuo mirrored his actions. "It's nothing really. It's just that, lately, you've been living up to your name."

Shizuo stopped his sipping. "Ha?"

"You seem more peaceful, kid."

"I was working hard on the anger management therapy. And…" Shizuo shrugged his shoulders in a noncommittal way. "…Probably because the flea wasn't around to harass me."

The tanned man blinked twice. "Ah, come to think of it, you're right! Where is he anyway?"

Shizuo gave him a sideway glance before finishing up his coffee and crumpling the Styrofoam cup. "Don't ruin my mood by mentioning that flea, Tom-san. Just drop it."

Tom nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll do just that then…"

"Good," said Shizuo as he nodded as well. He turned his head upwards to watch the sky. Because Izaya was suddenly brought up, he was reminded of the annoying nagging feeling he felt when he was at Shinra's house.

"Humph. It's probably nothing, just a soft spot for the injured or something…"

Tom looked up.

"What was that, Shizuo?"

"Nothing. Let's get going, Tom-san."

* * *

**A/N : Sorry if it sounds like there was a lot of time skips, eheheh... XD**


	11. The Call

**A/N : Yay~ I'm back again! Just posting this real quick now. Enjoy!**

* * *

For the past few months he was gone, his work for the Awakusu-kai had piled up high and it seems that Shiki had time and time again tried to contact him to no avail.

After today's meeting, however, Shiki had said that the Awakusu-kai had no use for the service of an informant that disappeared whenever for months on end according to his own whim; therefore they had regretfully replaced him with another informant despite Izaya's resources being better. After bidding his farewells, Shiki left.

This left Izaya pacing around restlessly in his Shinjuku office. It was not because of his main job suddenly taken away from him; he still has other incomes as well. Even though he was reluctant to anymore, his observant mind can still read human's behaviour pretty well, so he can be pretty sure that his current income from playing with stocks will not fall through.

But rather, he was worried that now he had no other way to occupy himself with mindless work. Izaya inwardly twitched.

"Great. Now those pesky flashbacks won't leave me alone!" grunted Izaya as he grit his teeth in frustration. Crossing his arms together and hugging himself, Izaya continues to pace around his office until his legs were tired. While he was in a dilemma, he hadn't noticed that the day was drawing to dusk and with the curtains closed, the room was becoming darker.

Too dark for the informant's taste.

Flipping all the light switches on in his apartment in haste, Izaya withdrew to his room and changed his clothes into pyjamas. As he was storing his trousers into a closet, a crumpled up piece of paper fell down near his feet.

Remembering that the paper contains the number of Shinra's acquaintance who the underground doctor insists that the person could help him, Izaya sat down at the foot of his bed and unravelled it. Staring at the number, Izaya had vaguely thought that he had seen it somewhere before, yet he couldn't remember exactly where.

Izaya bit his lip compulsively and threw the slip of paper aside. He wasn't exactly _that_ desperate to seek for help. He was sure that he could come over his irrational fear by himself, so there was no need to ask for another's assistance.

He could do it by himself, no worries… He would be a-okay in a few months, no worries…

That night, at exactly 2.18 a.m., Izaya woke up drenched in sweat. With the lights in his bedroom turned on, his eyes immediately squinted in reflex; so Izaya had to wrap himself with a blanket and sat under it, shaking.

He drew his knees closer to his chest and hugged it, his breath ragged from the nightmare that had woken him. Once or twice he had gasped for air after he suddenly forgot to breathe. For most of the time, he sat on the bed rocking back and forth slowly, his shoulders quivering.

The long hand of the clock had moved steadily to 8 before Izaya finally gained back his composure. As the blanket slid off his head, Izaya hurriedly looked around on the floor. Once he found back the slip of paper that he had threw away so carelessly, he held it between his fingers like a lifeline.

Reaching for the phone, his shaking fingers dialled up the number, one number at a time. There were a few times where the raven had hesitated; he gave excuses to himself so that he won't have to actually call this unknown person. Excuses like 'It was late' or 'Who'd help a grown man calm down from a nightmare in the middle of the night?'.

But after much deliberation, he pressed the call button and waited for the other side to answer. It rang a few times, and just when Izaya was about to hang up and sigh, the call connected, much to Izaya's surprise.

"Hello?" Came the voice from the other side.

Instinctively, Izaya hung up and threw the phone to the edge of the bed. Gathering up his blanket once again and hiding under it, the man breathed hard. He knew that voice, but he didn't want to acknowledge it.

It was no wonder that he thought he recognized the number before.

Izaya grabbed back his phone and went through the 'Dialled Number' menu. True enough, the contact number glared back at him along with the name of the owner on the screen. Izaya panicked. Why the heck did Shinra gave this person's number of all things?!

* * *

"Hello?" asked the confused blonde as soon as he picked up the phone. The blonde had wondered who the hell called in the middle of the night. Before he could sit up straight on his bed, the other end had hung up.

Shizuo stared at his phone in silence. It's not like he could know who called him, since the number shown on his screen was an unknown number. Putting his phone back under the pillow with a huff, Shizuo slid back under the covers and proceeded to fall back to sleep.

Seconds before his eyes fluttered close, his phone vibrated, signalling the entry of a message.

With a groan, Shizuo retrieved the phone and squinted at the screen. It was the same unknown number. Being the ever curious man he is, Shizuo opened the mail.

[Sorry for disturbing you in the middle of the night. I don't know what came over me. Sorry, just ignore this.]

Shizuo blinked at the mail. He wondered whether he should reply back. Deciding that he should, he pressed the reply button.

_[Who the fuck are you? How did you get this number?]_

Shizuo gasped the second he had sent the message, to which afterwards he typed another and sent that too.

_[Sorry. I sound like a jerk. But yeah, just imagine I asked in a nicer way.]_

"Shit," groaned Shizuo as he slammed his face into the pillow. "This is exactly why my therapy isn't going anywhere! I get angry too easily!"

When his phone vibrated in his hand, Shizuo looked up in shock. The person actually replied? He didn't waste a single moment to view it.

[…You don't know me. Um, my doctor gave me the number. Said that you could help me with a problem. Talk to you, or something.]

"Wha? Shinra did?" questioned Shizuo to himself as he sat back up, knowing full well that the only 'doctor' who knew his number was none other than his friend. Bewildered, Shizuo typed back a reply to this mysterious person. "What is that freak up to now?"

_[He did, huh? I wonder why…I can't even talk to people properly, let alone help someone.]_

[Yeah, I figured as much…sorry. Just ignore that I contacted you tonight. Sorry to bother you. Night.]

_[Wait! The fact that you called me this late must mean you're really troubled! Just tell me, I'll see what I can do.]_

[Thanks. But it's stupid, really… I shouldn't even be calling you for this. So just forget it.]

_[Try me.]_

* * *

Underneath his blanket, which he had suddenly grown an attachment towards that night, Izaya tugged at his hair. What to do? Should he tell anyway?

"Wait. Shizuo didn't even know who he's talking to," mumbled Izaya. He continued. "Maybe it's oka-No! It doesn't matter if he knows me or not! It's a stupid problem, anyone would laugh. Ah, but maybe it's okay coz…"

The raven trailed off as he caught himself talking to himself. He swore under his breath as he was convinced that he's going crazier by the minute.

"SHIT SHINRA! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!"

* * *

**A/N : ****A/N : Where am I going with this?! I never plan what I write, dammit.**  



	12. After 3 Days

**A/N : This chapter was a bit on the short side, but isn't my chapters always? Enjoy!**

* * *

With both of them leaning against a wall, Tom looked over in curiosity to his left to see his kouhai pocketing his phone once again with a large goofy smile planted on his face. The tanned man brought the cup to his lips and sipped his hot coffee thoughtfully as he continued to watch the blonde's behaviour. Truthfully, Tom was surprised. There never was a day since Tom had come to know Shizuo that the taller man would ever act this way. He'd doubt that even Kasuka had seen this change in the blonde and that is saying something.

_Beep, beepbeeep._

There goes the sound of an incoming mail again. Shizuo's phone has been going off like crazy during the morning, and it seems as if it won't stop any time soon even though the noon is creeping up on them. And it didn't help to reduce his questions whenever Shizuo dropped whatever it is he was currently doing just to answer his mails; with a big smile to boot. Tom had practically freaked out when Shizuo had just simply dropped a guy that had broken a vase on his head to the ground instead of throwing him through a brick wall.

Finally not being able to contain his curiosity, Tom had voiced his interest of Shizuo's behaviour all morning.

"What? Were you finally able to get a girlfriend?"

Shizuo blinked once. Twice. A blush crept up to his face as Tom's words registered.

"What? No!" said a freaked out Shizuo, shaking his head furiously. "N-not a girlfriend!"

Feeling amused, Tom continued his line of questionings as Shizuo coughed awkwardly to cover his embarrassment. He leaned closer.

"Oh? Then, who? Don't tell me it's a boyfriend?"

"NOT THAT EITHER!" yelled the blonde. His own cup of hot milk lay forgotten on the pavement by his feet when he had spilt it during his haste to deny his senior's accusations.

"Really now? Damn, now I really wanted to know who you were texting with. I didn't think you were texting with Kasuka either," teased Tom with a twinkle in his eyes. He watched Shizuo leaned back on the wall, a hand in his pocket that was, no doubt, clenching his phone.

Shizuo sighed. "Why did Tom-san wanted to know so much?"

"Are you seriously asking, kid?" At the nod that he was given, Tom resumed. "Have you looked at yourself in the past 3 days?"

Shizuo shook his head. "I don't really understand what you mean."

"You look happier. You smile more and frown less. How do I say this? You look less angry."

"Less…angry?" questioned Shizuo. He looked at Tom in askance, who in turn nodded to confirm Shizuo's words.

Tom smiled as the confusion on Shizuo's face became more evident. "So spill. Who was it that you were texting all this time?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Shizuo looked up, trying hard to find the exact words. What was he supposed to say? It's complicated since he didn't really know who the other person really was. In fact, the ex-bartender realised that in the 3 days that they have exchanged mails, he has yet to ask for the other's name. They were literally strangers, anonymous to each other.

Shizuo mentally gave himself a facepalm.

"I was just…"

The phone in his hands beeped again. Yet another mail has been sent to him. With a grin, Shizuo replied.

"…texting a friend."

* * *

It was evening and the dusk was slowly creeping in, prompting Izaya to routinely flick all the lights in his house on. Sitting back on his comfortable chair by his work desk, Izaya fiddled with his phone again. Something that he has done ever since that night where he had first texted Shizuo, of all people.

He reread the mails over and over again. Chuckling lightly at the reply he had gotten when he had asked of Shizuo's favourite pastime, Izaya leaned back on the chair. Never in his wildest dreams would he ever think that he would casually exchange mails with the blonde; but here he was, waiting for a response from the other.

Like a lifeline. Something to get his mind elsewhere from his nightmares.

Putting the phone aside, he swirled his chair around continuously to pass the time. As he spun around, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in between the cracks of the closed curtains. Having not being able to bring himself to see his reflection ever since he was assaulted, Izaya had gotten out of his chair and walked towards the window.

Placing a hand on the cool glass, Izaya stared back at his reflection. The puffy bags under his eyes were evident courtesy of his constant nightmares, his usually silky hair was unkempt and the eyes lifeless. Only a shell of his former self remained. Though that was the case, Izaya wasn't all that surprised. After all, he was well aware that he hasn't been properly taking care of himself since he was discharged.

What had taken him by surprise was actually the small genuine smile plastered on his face. Was he really smiling? Was he _that_ happy to have another human contact after a couple of weeks of isolating himself from Humanity and wallowing in depression?

He lifted a finger to trace his reflection's smile, still quite disbelieving the fact. The finger lingered for a while longer.

His phone on the desk beeped, demanding his attention. Going over to his desk and reaching for his phone, Izaya pressed the 'View' option and read the mail.

_[Hey, what should I call you, anyway?]_

With a resigned sigh, Izaya pressed the keys to reply. Honestly, it has been 3 days…and only now did this simpleton ask for his name? Granted, he never asked for Shizuo's either, but that's only because he knows who was at the other end.

As he replied, Izaya realised something. His lips carved into his characteristic smirk for the first time since the assault. It was no wonder that he had no problem communicating with the blonde, even during the time he was under Shinra's care and the blonde just suddenly popped in for a quick bandage. Having anonymity on his side is one thing. But he remembered that Shizuo was actually a monster.

A huge, idiot monster who had somehow always managed to defy the raven's expectations of him.

Izaya hit the 'Send' button.

[Kanra. The name's Kanra.]

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**A/N : Kanra's back~  
**


	13. Meeting Up

**A/N : Shizuo thinks up of the most random thoughts. Anyway, enjoy!**

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A trail of greyish smoke from a cigarette butt wafted through the cool night air of Ikebukuro, dispersing itself as a soft breeze blew through it. The owner of the stick, Shizuo, watched silently as he leaned against the backrest of the bench in the local park and stretched his left arm contentedly behind his head. It has been quite a long day and all Shizuo wanted now was a break from all the havoc of Ikebukuro.

Before long, his mind started to wander through various things. His senpai's teasings, cakes, money, anger management…cakes. The blonde lolled his head to the side in annoyance and inserted his hand into his trouser's pocket.

"Crap. Now I have a craving for cakes of all things." Opening his wallet after retrieving it and closing them a second later, he sighed. "Not like I got the money to spare for it…Better think of something else now before I rob a bakery."

Shizuo's mouth curled into a frown as he forced himself to think hard of something else. Once again, the process started and Shizuo gradually forgot his momentary obsession. Thinking back, Shizuo realized that he hasn't even once blown off his top for the day, the workload wasn't so bad and most importantly, Izaya wasn't around lately to disturb his peace.

Yup. It was a good day.

The blonde took another long puff and exhaled; once again, watching the smoke particles disappearing into the air after a few seconds, leaving behind a serene feeling. He continued the same actions until the sound of a motorbike braking behind him alerted him to another's presence; no doubt that it was Celty, a close friend.

Shizuo turned his head to observe Celty gracefully mounted off her beloved bike and propped it up. As the dullahan neared the bench, Shizuo opened his mouth and let out a question.

"You're late tonight. What's keeping you?"

In response, Celty typed her answer out on her PDA.

**[You know how Shinra is. He gets jealous so easily.]**

Shizuo snorted through his nose in amusement at the mention of his childhood friend's behaviour. It was a nice feeling for Shizuo to know that some things just never change. Shifting over to the side, Shizuo offered Celty a seat which the fairy gladly took.

They conversed casually as they have always had since they first decided to meet up every Tuesday night to hang out. Random topics like the course of their day or what they ate for dinner usually came up, but sometimes, serious topics were discussed as well.

"So what are you up to now? I don't see you zooming around on your bike so much anymore."

**[Well, that's just it…]**

The ex-bartender lifted an eyebrow; curiosity got the best of him. What's "just it"?

"Care to explain more?" questioned Shizuo as he snuffed out his cigarette. He watched Celty typed slowly, as if she was trying to find the words to best describe her feeling.

**[Izaya hasn't contacted me for any job for a while. Even if he does….]**

"'Even if he does…'?" Shizuo prompted.

**[It's usually for an odd job.]**

Shizuo creased his eyebrows in confusion. Now things were certainly being strange and for some reason, Shizuo felt himself being frustrated at the information given. This is Izaya they were talking about. Odd jobs requests don't seem to suit his style; at least that was the impression Shizuo got. _What is he up to?_, wondered Shizuo.

"What kind of odd jobs are we talking about here?"

**[Really small stuff. Taking out trash, buying him some groceries…those kinds of errands. It was really weird though he still pays me.]**

**[Not that I'm complaining…]**

Crossing his arms, Shizuo thought for a while. He had suggested that maybe the flea was hiding out and lying low for a while for whatever weird reasons he has; to which Celty rebutted with a wave of her left hand as a signal for disagreement.

**[If he was hiding out, he would've moved somewhere else. Not where someone could easily find him.]**

Celty retracted her hand to type more of her argument. Shizuo waited patiently and read the screen of the PDA once Celty was done. According to her, it seems that ever since Izaya was discharged, no one has seen him since. Even when Celty were to collect her pay for the odd jobs, they were usually slid under the door in an envelope and that was that. No Izaya.

Shizuo scratched his right cheek as he thought it out. The cogs in his brain were slowly turning to try and figure the situation out. And all while he was thinking, the feeling of Izaya acting weird since the last time they had met will not let go of his mind.

He came to the natural conclusion that Izaya was up to no good.

Celty watched as Shizuo got up and stretched; his joints popping as he cricked his neck and fingers.

**[Where are you going?]**

"Just thought I should stop by Shinjuku before going to sleep."

**[You're meeting Izaya?]**

"Yup, that's the plan."

And with that, Shizuo set off into the night towards Shinjuku to see the person he hated the most, leaving behind a distraught Celty.

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**A/N : I feel sorry for the unfortunate bakery if Shizuo ever seriously robbed one.**


	14. Crashing In

**A/N : Author is sorry she couldn't update sooner. Things have gotten hectic in RL and I have found myself leaving my dorms at 7 am and only getting back at 8 pm. It's been happening every day (except sundays) that I just don't have the energy to write a single decent chapter and just crashed into sleep. Sorry!  
**

**But don't worry! Here's another chapter of utter nonsense, so enjoy peeps!**

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A finger swiped distractedly across the smudged screen full of thumbprints, scrolling down the inbox interface until the very bottom…and then back up again before doing the process all over again. If it weren't for his phone suddenly ringing the alarm loudly - a deafening sound in the perpetual silence of the apartment – Izaya wouldn't have realised that he had just spent the last hour reading his mails again. The mails in which he had named himself Kanra to a certain other correspondent.

Using the alarm as a daily signal, Izaya sighed and stood up. Cursing his sleepy legs, the raven sauntered over to the light switches and flicked them all open, lighting up every corner of his now empty apartment. How long has it been since he sent Namie away and started this routine? Too long, he answered himself.

He knows it's not healthy, for both his mind and his body. He knows that by staying inside this cramped, cramped space, he's not helping himself recover in any way nor is he ever going to be able to take the first step to change for the better. It's not as if he hadn't forced himself to fling the front door open wide and just run through it, run into the streets and out into the open. To get rid of every irrational fear that's gripping his heart, and just be free. And scale the buildings to the roof, getting high off the rush with his long acquired parkour skills. And maybe take a trip down to Ikebukuro to annoy Kida out of his minds. And…and just be himself… Just be Normal-Abnormal-Asshole Orihara Izaya.

But he couldn't do it. The second his foot stepped outside his sanctuary, countless questions plagued his mind. _Are they going to follow me? Are they watching my every movement right now? Will it happen again? Will I lose control again? What if they really are tracking my movement? I wouldn't know, I've been cooped up in this stupid place. Slowly losing it… I wouldn't know…I wouldn't know a damn thing!_

Izaya is not a coward. He knows at least that much, so he had taken another step, and then another. He had made it as far as the elevator, his finger poised in mid air to push the 'down' button. And that's when it happened. One of the floor residents had opened their door; the clicking sound like a thunder to Izaya's panicked thoughts. It had made Izaya jump out of his skin and before he knew it, his back was already against his own locked door. He still remembered how his sweat had made his shirt clung tight to his frame, how it had suffocated him.

And it was then that he had started to call up Celty. He just couldn't leave without getting a panic attack. The worst part was, he doesn't think he will ever can.

Once the raven was satisfied with the lighting, he proceeded to plop himself on the couch and continued his previous activity. He opened his inbox again and opened the latest mail he had gotten from Shizuo. He didn't really get the puzzling content and wondered what it meant. Shizuo not replying after he had sent a question mark didn't help to stave off his curiosity either.

What did Shizuo meant with _[I'm going out for a bit, so don't worry if I don't reply for a while. My phone might break.]_?

Where is he going? The thought of possibly having nothing to anticipate for the next few hours, maybe days, made Izaya reel inwardly. If he doesn't have anything to do, his mind will automatically go back in the past and remember! He gripped his phone hard in his non-casted hand. The feel of it did nothing to alleviate his anxiety.

For a while, Izaya didn't breathe. After going a bit blue in the face, the man exhaled a huge sigh and forced himself to keep a normal breathing rate, trying to calm down. His back sagged against the armrest of the couch and he stayed in that position, curling up and laying on his side. His heartbeats thumped hard against his ribcage. He could practically hear the gushing of his own blood in his ears. It sounded like he was underwater, drowning and freaking out.

When both of his hands crawled upwards to cover his ears, the sound only intensified. It really did feel as if he was drowning in silence. The only thing he could hear was the creaking of his wrist bones and the erratic beatings of his heart.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Slow at first. The raven shut his eyes, willing his heartbeat to become regular. Think of anything else, _anything_. Or don't think. This is his heart for goodness sake! Why won't it listen to him?

_THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!_

Izaya twitched and curled into a ball. Why is it getting louder? He couldn't understand why. He tried to relax, control his breathing, verbally reminding himself that he's safe…yet, nothing's working. The thumping was getting louder. He couldn't take it anymore.

He stood up fast; adrenaline rushing through his vessels, putting him in a fight or flight response. His eyes darted back and forth, searching his living room for something non-existent. It was then that his eyes lay on his front door and he stopped.

The door was trembling. It shook hard against its frame, threatening to be knocked over if the raven didn't hurry up and open it. The small shred of rationality in the haze in his mind faintly confirmed that the thumping noise was definitely not his heart. His already laboured breathing increased its rate when once again his mind spiralled back to the traumatic incident. Izaya balled his fists, and continuously opened and closed his clammy hands in an attempt to curb his panic.

"Izaya, you damned flea! Open the door before I knock it down!"

_Shi…Shizu-chan? What?_

Various thoughts raced through his head as Izaya walked shakily towards the door, his footsteps as silent as ever. He didn't want to open it. Who would? Not when there's obviously a deranged psychopath threatening your life on the other side. Yet, he subconsciously moved forward and inched his way towards the only one existence he knows that could make him control this anxiety he's currently having. If only by a little bit…

"What- What is it?" he found himself calling out, the words forced through his lips. He tried to sound angry. Damn, he really tried but somehow his voice came out squeaky. "Do you have _any_ idea what time it is, Shizu-chan?!"

"Fuck if I know! I don't have a watch! Just open the damned door!"

"Why should I?"

"Izaya!" came the growl from the other side of the door. "Open. The. Door. Now..."

"No," said Izaya simply. "If you really want it open, you'll have to knock the door down!"

A final loud bang was heard throughout the living room as Shizuo banged his fist, cussing outside. For a while, all was silent. Both didn't know what to do. On one side of the door, Shizuo was gritting his teeth in frustration; his balled fists lay exactly where they were, not moving, in the splintered cracks of a mahogany door. Whereas Izaya was clutching on to his gray sweatshirt for dear life; stuck between his past and the immediate danger of Shizuo breaking in and possibly breaking him in two.

Shizuo broke the silence first. A tired voice filtering through the dividing door between them.

"…Just open the door, stupid flea."

The whispered plea threw Izaya off. Drawing nearer to the door, he could see the blonde's shadow through the space under the door, shifting ever so slightly. He found himself questioning whether he should risk opening the door and be in an uncomfortable presence of the other or ignore Shizuo, plain and simple. A hand lay on top of the doorknob as soon as he reached a decision.

But before that, he should put up a Normal-Abnormal-Asshole Orihara Izaya act. Just so Shizuo didn't think anything was amiss. Not that Izaya thought the ex-bartender would notice, but Shizuo has been known to be repeatedly smashing his way through his expectations so far, so maybe he would notice after all?

"You don't really think I'm dumb enough to fall for that trick now, do you, Shizu-chan? That's so lame~"

"God…damn it! Flea! Can't you make this any easier for me? Just open the fucking door!"

Izaya smiled a little. He can't help it. Finally, something that's normal! Something that's easy for him to understand! Something that's able to give him a sense of security at knowing what to do instead of making him flounder around like an idiot.

"Eeh~ Shouldn't you say 'please' first?"

"Izaya!"

Izaya sniggered and opened the door just a crack, the sliding chain lock still in place. Outside, Shizuo glared at Izaya in annoyance through the opening.

"And what do you want?" questioned Izaya.

"You're up to no good, aren't you?" countered Shizuo.

"…And what kind of question is that?"

"A valid one. Now open the damn door properly so I don't have to break it down getting inside!"

The raven puffed his cheeks. "Why do you even _want_ to come inside? You just came to ask me a question right?"

"Cause I won't feel satisfied until I wreck up your apartment, that's why."

A pause.

"…I really hope that's a sarcastic comment. If you wanted to wreck my place up, you should've just broken down the door and do your deed. Who'd in their right mind would open their door after hearing that? Are you an idiot, Shizu-chan?"

"Why yes, yes I am."

"You know what? I'm just gonna ignore you," stated Izaya and slammed the door to Shizuo's face. He isn't an idiot. He can recognize sarcasm when he hears one. But with an idiot like Heiwajima Shizuo, he could just never tell.

He padded his way back to the sofa, ignoring the indignant angry yells outside only because Shizuo didn't even bother knocking on the door anymore. Along the way, Izaya had thought that maybe Shinra was telling the truth when he told that Shizuo is going to anger management classes and is doing well in them. Looking behind his back, it's the only plausible explanation Izaya could come up with for his intact door.

Izaya mumbled to himself. "So that's what he means by his phone probably breaking…crap, so he's coming here?"

The raven didn't know what to think about that. And he didn't know what to think about the tired one-liner the blonde had whispered during their banter earlier either. What's up with that? Izaya was convinced, ever since the day they met, that Shizuo's voice had been either loud as default or louder. Whispers just aren't Shizuo, ever.

He sat down instantly the second he reached the sofa and picked up his abandoned phone.

As soon as he is fully seated, a thundering crash was heard and his vision was suddenly enveloped in complete darkness.

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**A/N : The updates next are going to be a bit more random (not that it already is) because my professional exams are coming up. So sorry in advance. Until next time! :D  
**


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